Pig Post 4

Mending a Relationship

I have a relationship with someone that isn’t what it should be. When I first joined the I Ho Chuan several years ago and pondered this requirement, the relationship I needed to mend was obvious and is still the same relationship that I endeavour to build today. This is a relationship that is important to me and my family and I have invested a lot of time and effort in it.  Unfortunately, I am often left with the perception that this effort is not reciprocated.  

Several years ago, I would say that our relationship didn’t even exist.  Due to the lack of effort on the other side, I chose not to call or check in until that person did.  It got to the point where we only connected maybe once or twice a year at Christmas or a birthday.  I am not sure if this was pride, ego or just stubbornness, but my choice did not benefit anyone including myself or my family.

So, ever since that first year in the I Ho Chuan, I made the effort.  I called every week, I would set up plans to meet once a month and I would engage this person on a regular basis to ensure they were involved in my family’s life.

Recently, I reached out to this person asking them to attend something that was very important to my family.  They didn’t seem very interested, but I explained how important it was and they agreed to come, that is until a few days prior. This left me hurt, frustrated and honestly pissed off.  So, I chose not to call or to engage. We have not spoken in almost a month, that is, until today. 

Did this person call me? No.  I called them. With some other recent events, I was once again reminded life is short. Too short for pride or egos to get in the way of family. So I called and I will call again.  Part of this is I need to set an example for my children.

I have come to the conclusion, that this is not a relationship that necessarily needs mending, but it needs continual maintenance.  So I will continue to do my part.  I will call, and I will engage regardless of the reciprocity. Pride, ego and even judgement have no place here.

Thanks for reading.

Mike